The three culprits that rob couples of true intimacy are listed below.
Take note of which pattern you find yourself using, and see if you can change it. Resist sarcastic, belittling or angry comments that hurt your spouse. If you withdraw and use silence, this can be just as ineffective and painful as yelling or saying hurtful things to your spouse. Instead, resist the temptation to use silence or withdraw, and communicate to your spouse that you are feeling deeply hurt but would like to work through these differences.
AVOID THESE PATTERNS LISTED BELOW:
2. USING VIOLENT WORDS- This person uses their anger to get their way. They yell, call names, or use put down comments. Almost anything goes to win. This pattern gets the couple nowhere fast.
3. COMBINATION OF SILENCE AND VIOLENCE- This person uses a combination of withdrawing at critical times, and then assaulting their unsuspecting spouse. This style is really painful and adds to the deterioration of the relationship. It needs to be stopped immediately.
I hope this information gets you speaking kindly again
to your partner. I will be glad to meet with you alone or with you and your spouse. I can show you both what can be done to make your communication and relationship healthier. If your relationship becomes more loving, this change will flow down to your children as you model to them how healthy couples relate and communicate together.
I have witnessed houselholds become happy
and seen first hand how these happy homes effect our own attitude and view of ourselves. It isn’t a secret that at the heart of a good home is a very healthy and good marriage. It is possible to adapt and change and break away from dysfunctional patterns and begin fresh with sound habits that demonstrate care, value and love to one another.
I have helped many couples do this during my 26 years as a clinical psychologist.
I will be honored to see if I am a good fit for you, and can help you as well. I wish you all the best.
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